Hitting great golf shots is next to impossible unless you have an elaborate pre-shot routine. This is basically science and should not be disputed. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to grasp this concept despite seeing concrete proof from golfing savants like Keegan Bradley (h/t Adam Sarson):

That man has a major. He also has horrific nervous tendencies, but OCD really means Officially a Cool Dancer.

Luckily for us, Twitter was invented for the sole purpose of providing helpful hints on how to play golf like a pro. And for sharing pictures of cats playing the piano. But moreso for golf instruction (which is why Twitter's icon is a birdie).

So for the low price of absolutely free, here is a list of the three best pre-shot routine tips from the greatest minds in the Twitterverse. Think well of me when you win your major.

Calm your nerves by any means necessary

 

@AdamJFonseca Start with a shot of Jameson's. #BreakfastOfChampions

— John Lahtinen (@JohnLahtinen) March 14, 2015

Not only is this suggestion completely inappropriate to good health, it's also important to playing great golf. Alcohol has been as big a part of the game as mashies, sand bunkers and smearing deer urine on your hands.

 

In addition to starting your day off with a substantial pull from your family's bottle of Jameson Whiskey, be sure to always carry a minimum of one gallon of the beverage in your golf bag at all times. Any proper pre-shot routine includes swallowing an ounce of the Irish nectar prior to every swing. Following this method is guaranteed to lower your scores dramatically as you are forced to minimize your strokes lest you experience instantaneous liver failure.

Daydream like a crazy person

 

@AdamJFonseca Visualize your shot. — Steinthor Sigurdsson (@SteinthorSig) March 14, 2015

If I've said it once then I've said in a thousand times: take every opportunity to escape from reality while playing golf.

One such way is by staring off into another dimension for the purpose of accidentally noticing a premonition on how the future will unfold. Experts in this technique include those of incredible mental prowess, including:

• Tiger Woods (before 2009)
• Jack Nicklaus
• Miss Cleo

Visualizing your shot is imperative to proper course management and instilling within yourself an extreme level of confidence. Take a few moments to will your next shot to its target by way of subjectively wishing yourself to death.

Placate yourself like you were your own mother-in-law

 

@AdamJFonseca only positive thinking: brain doesn't understand negation

— Dante Isingrini (@EasyCicero) March 14, 2015

The power of positive thinking cannot be overlooked. It's very much like the power of the positive leads on a car battery: placing your tongue on its surface may seem like a bad idea, but you'll be shocked at the results.

The greatest golfers in the world never allow negative thoughts to enter their minds. This is likely accomplished by years of brutal self-discipline, monk-style flogging and repeated viewings of Johnny Miller shooting 63 at Oakmont. In time, the very notion of a negative thought is instead met with an avalanche of positivity and an immediate release of the bowels.

Focusing on nothing but positive encouragement prior to every shot is, arguably, the most important element of a pre-shot routine.